Bachelor Party FAQ ▷ Stag & Hen Do Questions Answered

What is actually behind a bachelor party? How much should it cost, who plans it all, does it really have to be the day before the wedding, and who pays the costs?

Invited as a guest, or stuck with planning the stag or hen do yourself? Here you’ll find short, clear answers to the most common questions about bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Summary

Below you’ll find all the “basics” of stag and hen dos. These are the questions you should have an answer to.
Are you the one who has to get everything ready? Then also take a look at our article on bachelor party planning.
Use our navigation too, where you’ll find plenty more articles about stag and hen dos!

What is a bachelor party?

The Junggesellenabschied, or Junggesellinnenabschied for women (JGA for short), is a wedding custom in which the engaged couple celebrate separately from each other before the actual wedding, usually, though not necessarily, split by gender.

According to Wikipedia (German)

In other words: Before the wedding, the best friends get together and celebrate once more, each without their partner. So the party usually takes place among men or among women.

These days, though, nobody takes all that too seriously.

If a girl joins the lads, or a guy joins the girls, it’s not the end of the world.
And it doesn’t have to be a big party either. If you fancy a nice hike, a day at the lake or a museum visit, that’s absolutely fine!

When do you celebrate the bachelor party?

The stag or hen do is celebrated before the wedding. There is no fixed date for it, though.

The idea that it must or should take place the day before the wedding is nonsense. Well-known films (such as The Hangover) suggest it, but it would be pretty stressful for everyone involved.
Tip: Celebrate it 2-4 weeks before the wedding. That way you can party without stress and it doesn’t get in the way of the wedding.

Why do you celebrate a bachelor party?

Good question, and probably everyone has to answer it for themselves. Bachelor parties used to be seen as “preparation” for marriage, although it’s not as if you learn much there…

Above all it’s a party for the friends and a kind of “farewell party” for the groom or bride from single life, where you really let your hair down one more time.
You can also see it as a clear signal that makes it obvious to everyone that this person is now spoken for and no longer “on the market”.
Then there’s the element that plays a bigger part at the Polterabend, a German pre-wedding party where crockery gets smashed: wishing luck and keeping evil spirits away. The noise of the smashing is meant to drive the evil spirits off.

Where do you celebrate the bachelor party?

Basically, you can celebrate wherever you like.

Big cities promise plenty of entertainment, bars, clubs and action. But a pub crawl in a smaller town has its charm too.
In nature you can let loose, and a weekend in a remote cabin with your best friends is another great option.
A party at home is an option too. It saves money, and travel, accommodation and so on often need less planning.

Tastes change all the time, so simply do whatever you feel like most.

Who organises the bachelor party?

There’s no fixed rule on who does the planning. Normally the job falls to the best friends, who are often also the best man or maid of honour; everything about the role is in best man duties.

They should take the lead on planning, bring in a few other guests if needed and handle the coordination (of the date, for example).
Once the key points are settled, you can split the work, for example one person plans travel, accommodation and so on, and another the activities and the party.

You can also have an agency run the whole thing, taking the work off your hands, although the work can be fun too. Here are a few basic tips:

Too many cooks spoil the broth: Everyone has good ideas and means well, but at the end of the day one person has to be in charge. So by all means talk a few ideas through in the group, but the planning committee shouldn’t get too big, or it descends into chaos.
Clear agreements: Agree on a few key points. The date, budget, place and guests should be fixed early. And once something is agreed, stick to it if at all possible.

Who pays for the bachelor party?

Normally every guest pays a set amount towards the group’s shared costs (activities, accommodation, certain booked packages and so on). The costs for the groom or bride are covered by the group, and he or she pays nothing. Of course the groom or bride can, or rather should 😀, buy the odd round in the evening.

That said, the topic isn’t entirely straightforward…

The wedding is a big expense for the couple as well as the guests. And the stag or hen do can get very pricey too, quickly running into three figures.
Not everyone has the same financial resources. If a friend is short of cash or simply doesn’t earn that much, the wedding and the bachelor party are a big financial burden.
So if there are friends who have plenty to spare, or others who are going through a tight spot, you should act as friends (and the better-off ones might generously cover the groom’s or bride’s share, for example).

Tip: Collect money in a shared kitty. At some point you have to book, pay deposits and so on. So all guests need to commit, and everyone should pay an agreed amount into a shared pot in advance. Otherwise someone ends up stuck with the costs…

Who comes to the bachelor party?

The bachelor party is planned by the best friends, so they’re definitely coming. They can also judge pretty well who counts among the important friends.

Usually the group forms by itself and consists of the best friends and brothers and sisters, who are a given (unless there really is no contact any more).
There may also be a few old friends who now live elsewhere but with whom there’s still a genuine friendship.

A few more tips:

You should have a group that gels. They should get on, have no open feuds and not hold completely opposite ideas of a good night out.
The group shouldn’t get too big (for 20 people it’s simply very hard to plan…), but also not consist of just 2 people. As a rule of thumb, around 10-12 people is a good maximum.
Are there activities that really matter to you and only work with a certain or maximum number of people?
It’s your decision whether you plan for men only or women only.
Fix a date for the stag or hen do early and send invitations early, with a deadline (and a deposit to go with it!).
Have a solution for sudden drop-outs or an unexpected guest. But also tell all guests that this must stay the exception.

What do you do on a bachelor party?

On a stag or hen do, you do whatever you fancy most, it’s that simple!

You don’t have to follow any “must-haves”. Even if in lots of films the girls just ride around in limos drinking fizz and the men go to strip clubs and drink themselves senseless, it’s your choice. You can do that, or something completely different!
Do something memorable that you enjoy. Whether it’s a nice outing, a short trip, a sporty event or a wild party. Try to do something you wouldn’t normally do.
Have a look at our activity ideas too, where you’ll find plenty of inspiration!

What do you give as a present at a bachelor party?

Do you give anything at all? Not really, and it’s certainly not compulsory. You’re spending time together, that’s present enough, and there’s the wedding coming up, where presents are very much the norm.

So our tip:

No presents, but something much better: a memory book after the party. In this book every guest writes a short message (with coloured pens and stickers) next to a group photo from the stag or hen do. We guarantee this book will be worth a look again and again and makes a great keepsake.
You can also design and wear a matching bachelor party T-shirt. That’s a lovely keepsake too, and if it doesn’t survive the night, no big deal ;).

What do you wear to a bachelor party?

Opinions are split on this one: some want fancy dress, others matching T-shirts, and others skip it altogether. Those are exactly your options, with a few pros and cons.

No fancy dress: You won’t have any trouble getting into the club.
Stag or hen T-shirts: They make a lovely keepsake. But you’re also instantly recognisable as a stag or hen group.
A crazy costume: Funny and out of the ordinary, but also very impractical for activities and the like.
Accessories: There are various themes you can style head to toe, or just a few smaller accessories, such as sunglasses or a crown.

Whatever you decide, think about the whole evening and ask yourselves whether you can do everything in it. You should also plan a Plan B, meaning a change of clothes.

Do the bride and groom, or men and women, have to celebrate separately?

There are no clear rules for a stag or hen do, but we’d recommend:

No joint party for the bride and groom. That might be a bit disappointing for your friends, and the party is first and foremost for them. If that’s what you want, then it’s not a bachelor party but a joint party before the wedding, much like the German Polterabend.
Whether men and women celebrate separately, or a woman joins the men and a man joins the women, is up to the group.

How much should a bachelor party cost?

A bachelor party can turn into a pretty expensive affair. And right before the wedding, that’s rather inconvenient. If you add up the costs in a few bachelor party films, you quickly reach €500 per person or more. But the cost of a stag or hen do depends mainly on the activities and how you set it up.

Example: a weekend away – €450

If you need a flight, a hotel and so on, the cost per guest is already at least €250 (flight at least €150, 2 nights in a hotel at least €80).
Add activities, for example two of them – €65 (such as €40 for paintball and €25 per person for a party bus)
Plus a night out and eating out twice – €90 (entry and drinks €50, eating out twice €40)
On top of that spending money – €45, for a snack along the way, a taxi ride and so on.

So don’t kid yourselves: it’s expensive, so talk about what it’s allowed to cost. And there are great, cheap alternatives too!

A day at the lake with your best friends – about €20 per person
A good house party with a barbecue and good music – about €30 per person
A bike ride with a stop at a beer garden – about €25 per person
A pub crawl with a picnic beforehand – about €50 per person

You’ll find something that suits you!

Is the bachelor party celebrated worldwide?

Yes. Strictly speaking, the bachelor party actually came to Germany from abroad. It only really took off with famous international films about stag and hen dos (The Hangover and co.). Here are the terms in the most widely spoken languages; some have several names:

Language	Translation
German	Junggesellenabschied, Junggesellinnenabschied – Polterabend (not the same thing, though)
English (US, GB)	bachelor party, bachelorette party, stag night, stag party, stag do, hen night
English (Australia)	buck’s night, buck’s party
French	enterrement de vie de garçon / jeune, enterrement de vie de célibataire
Spanish	despedida de soltero
Dutch	vrijgezellenfeest

Bachelor Party FAQ: Answers to the Most Common Stag & Hen Do Questions